you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
