Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
