i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
