I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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