just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
