she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
