i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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