it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
