Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
