Farmville is her only friend.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
