Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
