I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
