How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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