It's Friday. Sex?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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