..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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