I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
