yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
