sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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