So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
