Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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