I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
