i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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