I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Who died my cat blue again?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
