im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
