Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
