Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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