how can u be prego again
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize