ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
