I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
