Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
