i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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