I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
