question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I cut my penus on the lid.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you had me at cake vodka
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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