Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
