im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
