the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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