Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
