oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
