doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I believe in your delicious
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
