where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
