Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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