all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
