I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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