Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
vagina is talking i cant
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
