don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
worst night to have a conscience
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
