Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
