i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
