So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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