My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
