I got chris browned last night
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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