got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
